An Imaginary Amusement

by Rev. Steve Wilson

In our monthly theology discussion group, I always start with a guided meditation. It gives us a
chance to settle into our bodies and breath. Today, not really knowing what I was doing, I stumbled into creating what I think of as a guided cultural meditation for all of us. Something that might just feel during pride month, as a small moral win. This win in this dark time of political loss is of course imaginary. However, during this time of political retreat, I encourage you to settle in, relax, take a deep breath. If you weren’t reading I would invite you to close your eyes and join me on this early summer vacation trip. (Pause)

Today, I would like you to allow yourself to believe that we here in our little UU church with the red doors have been invited to preview the opening of a new amusement ride called “The Golden Age of Marriage.” What some of the park’s publicity has come to call “an info-taining journey thru the history of marriage in the western world.” This controversial ride is about to open at the equally controversial Amusement Park called “The Real Eden.” A 35-acre park that was designed specifically to promote religious tolerance and progressive values in bible belt, red state America.

“The Real Eden” was a project built with grants from the Gates Foundation, the ACLU, the PEW charitable trust…and -as we have heard too, too many times from watching PBS “the support of people like you.” It was conceived as a cultural alternative to the wave of religiously conservative theme parks and monuments that have been constructed across the nation over the last 25 years.

Those who initially proposed the park were motivated by a growing belief that religious liberals needed to provide a more culturally sensitive and modern option to parks like “The Ark,” a recreation of Noah’s Ark in Williamstown Kentucky, and “The Creation Museum.” In Cincinnati, Ohio. The final push that made “The Real Eden” a reality was the announcement of plans to begin building an “American Heartland Park” in rural Oklahoma. Yeah, that’s for real. Upon hearing the news of yet another vacation option dedicated to “Promoting Real American Values.”
The President of the UUA was caught on a live mic at a National Interfaith gathering saying… “What The F&%^%!” A statement that went viral. That’s not real, but conceivable. As part apology, part trauma bonding, part natural demographic, UU’s have been among the first of “This is Eden’s” loyal supporters.
Remember, this is an imaginary tour.

“Eden” -as it has come to be more commonly called- has a similar footprint and look to many large amusement or theme parks. Its’ obviously provocative name was chosen for being potentially both the most intriguing and offensive name to fundamentalists and the parks immediate neighbors in Stone Mountain Georgia. The team that named the park believed that with such a name there would be the near guarantee of some free publicity created by the inevitable protesters who expected a bible-based experience.

Eden was laid out to intentionally mimic Disney World and Disney Land’s differently themed sections. However rather than “Tomorrowland” and Frontier themed areas, Eden has areas with names like “Religious Tolerance Town,” “Science is not a conspiracy Land,” and “Human Rights Ville.”

In addition to 17 different educational amusement rides, Eden will soon offer opportunities to sit in on live lectures from well-known advocates for progressive causes. Plans are underway for upcoming weeklong residences from the famed Cosmologist Neil DeGrass Tyson, Religious Historian Karen Armstrong, Pakistani Teen activist Malala Yousafzai, and The Dahli Lama. Throughout Eden’s sprawling acres of attractions, food courts, and outdoor stages, actors roam about portraying respected historic champions of human rights. The brochure and website respectively contain lovely photographs and short Tic-Tok style video of actors who portraying Gandhi, Pema Chodron, Amy Goodman, and Jesus are seen engaging with guests.

At this completely LEED ecologically certified park, food courts are committed to selling exclusively organic and healthy refreshments. Moreover, consistent with the values promoted within all members of the growing staff receive a living wage and respectable benefits. Because at Eden the phrase “values come first,” helps set all policies all the souvenirs sold are required to meet strict “Fair Trade” guidelines and the Park administration ensures that all the plastics used come from recycled materials. As a comic touch even all the furry mascots representing endangered animals wear a badge that says, “I was raised in a free range/cage-free manner.”

That always creates a chuckle. Guests and traveling school groups are invited to participate in an ongoing experiment to soon completely power the park via solar, wind and other sustainable energy sources.
To help guide people around, the sprawling amusement space “This is Eden” is laid out in an intuitive and color-coded manner. Rainbow colored street signs direct people quite intuitively to the LGBTQ-AI themed “gayborhood,” and dirt paths bordered by wildflowers lead visitors to the ecological themed area titled “No Planet-B”.

Pertinent to us today is that constructed in the area where “Human Rights Ville,” “Religious Tolerance Town, and “the gayborhood” all meet is the soon to open attraction titled “The Golden
Age of Marriage.” Please consider this a preview for a sermon that will mimic this imaginary
educational ride.

NOTE- This month, on Sunday, June 8, we will participate in my imaginary sermonic tour of
Marriage through the Western world.