Message from the Minister

Welcome!
August 2023
September is just around the corner.
And so we begin our 2nd year of Interim Ministry together.
Opening worship service
Meetinghouse
Sunday September 10, 2023 at 10:30 am
We have an exciting program planned for this worship year. I, Rev. Abigail Stockman, will be with you for two Sunday’s each month (except for December when I will be here for three Sundays). Your Worship Team will be inviting guest ministers/speakers into the pulpit, or provide their own creative spirit to worship, for one Sunday each month. The Transition Team, who work with Rev. Stockman to help prepare the congregation for the upcoming ministry transition, will provide a program service once each month. For the three months that contain a fifth Sunday the Governing Board will be responsible for a service.
There are many opportunities for action that await us all this year. Worship and outreach into the larger Unitarian Universalist community and also into the surrounding Northborough area. There is a community meal program, centered through Trinity Church, that continues to need support. Alicia Coderre has carried the light of First Parish in this activity in recent years. It would be wonderful to be able to say that First Parish has an active group working on the community meals.
Northborough at this time is welcoming new neighbors, a group of Haitian refuges who are primarily Creole and French speakers. It would be lovely to connect with these new neighbors to ask them how we might assist them in their transition to this new community.
I continue to commute to you from northern Vermont, where the house building went a bit slowly in the early and mid-summer due to the weather. I will be in Northborough two weekends each month. See the current schedule of my weekends at the end of this article.
MINISTER’S HALF-TIME HOURS
On the weekends when I am preaching, I will remain in Northborough through Sunday and Monday morning. I will be available, by appointment on Sunday, and will be in the Minister’s Office, downstairs in the Parish Hall, from 9am- Noon on those Mondays. Please enter Parish Hall, on Monday mornings, through the back entrance so as not to disturb the Montessori Preschool upstairs.
I will hold virtual office hours on Monday mornings from 9-Noon when I am not in Northborough. These will begin on Monday September 18, 2023. All participants will first enter a waiting room so that confidentiality of conversations can be maintained in my virtual office. Thank you in advance for patience in waiting to invited into the room.
I will be answering emails and phone messages two days each week: Monday and Thursday.
If you need to schedule an office (virtually) outside of the Sunday or Monday time frames, please phone or email me.
If you have a pastoral emergency please don’t hesitate to be in touch with me by phone.
Watch your emails for further announcements of activities and events.
Hello First Parish Northborough,
September 2022
Greetings Members and Friends of First Parish Northboro,
September 2022
Rev. Misty-Dawn Shelly
Fewer Than Two More Weeks!?!
October 26, 2021
- Prepare the inside of the church for use once more, including sanitizer in multiple spots and signs about vaccines, masking, distancing and singing/not singing, and options such as sitting in the balcony for added safety.
- Adapt our service elements (joys and sorrows, hymns, etc.) so that we do them in the lowest-risk way possible, hopefully without sacrificing the feel or the meaningfulness of what we do
- Have the capacity to join Zoom from the sanctuary, in some form or other. It’s our hope to have our new, very cool camera and control board operational by then, but even if I preach to an ipad at first, it will be from the sanctuary. I am really, really looking forward to preaching to really face to face, breathing-in-the-same room people once again!
Want to help?
We are looking for a few more people who are interested in helping with the logistics of gathering in person while following the guidelines of our Covid Advisory team. The guidelines offer room for choices, so there will be lots of room for ideas and experimentation.
If you are a hands-on person, we’ll need some of that, too, as we begin to prepare for distanced seating, signage, hand sanitizer, collecting the offering, joys and sorrows setup, and many more details.
For those who will still be tuning in on Zoom, we are especially aware that we need to use our camera to bring you in close to the action, as often as possible, and make you feel included as much as is possible.
We will keep experimenting and learning, exploring and growing, adopting what works and graciously letting go what no longer fits. We will be trying some new things from time to time to see how they work, and we’ll need feedback, so please let us know what works for you, what doesn’t, and suggestions you may have.
Hello, friends,
August 24, 2021
It’s good to be back home, after an absolutely wonderful three weeks with some of my kids and grandkids. I definitely feel more refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of “church amid pandemic.”
I just finished reading and doing some analysis on the Reopening Survey we put out a couple months ago. Many thanks to all who replied! I especially appreciated learning how many folks feel about the possibility of holding in-person church.
Comments ranged from “It has been great to go to church in my pj’s, I may never go back” to “We should just open up!” The vast majority of you expressed the wish to proceed with extreme caution, and follow our values of inclusion, interdependence, and relying on scientific evidence to guide our decisions. That is exactly what we will endeavor to do.
The Reopening Team is working hard on crafting a policy, subject to Board approval, that will guide us in gradually resuming in-person operations, and, should the virus resurge, suspending in-person operations,
The Worship Team is taking on the challenge of planning worship that can translate into two platforms, in-person and online. Olga is hatching some fun ideas to keep excellent, soul-stirring music a vital part of our Sunday morning experience. And we will undoubtedly find some new and innovative ways to feed each other’s spirits and keep doing good in the world.
Hang on, friends, this year should be very interesting! I’m sure we are up to the challenge, together.
Sharing community partnerships: what’s happening, what isn’t
June 8, 2021
In an effort to draw our circle wider, we have been working for the past few years to get to know other congregations, and exploring mutual aid and cooperation with the churches in our area. Over the past year, we have worshiped on Zoom with six other congregations, experimenting with different worship styles, and getting to know other UUs.
The last congregation we shared worship with this year, Marlboro-Hudson, has had to make deep cuts to their staff hours next year, and is discussing many possibilities for their future, including the possibility of seeking to merge with another congregation. I have learned that there are some feelings of anxiety and confusion here at First Parish about the fact that “merger” has been mentioned.
I appreciate those who have come to me or a member of the Board directly with questions and concerns, because I really value direct communication. and because I always learn something valuable that helps me become a more thoughtful and inclusive leader.
So I need to clarify: We are not in talks with Marlboro-Hudson about a merger. I can promise you that if they ask to talk to us about that possibility, it would be an open process, with the congregation ultimately making any final decisions. Just as with calling a minister, no merger, nothing on that scale can happen without you, the members. Nothing has happened except that the Unitarian Church of Marlboro-Hudson has let us know that they are discussing it, among other options.
Your leadership has been working hard to be clear, transparent, and responsive to all of the members. We deeply appreciate feedback. As always, if you have questions, concerns, or suggestions, the Board and I encourage you to call, text, or email. Any one of us will be glad to listen and discuss.
Thank you for being here, thank you for caring, thank you for speaking up and making your thoughts known.
A Work of the People
December 11, 2020
While not the same as getting together in person, our online worship team works hard to provide heartfelt and inspiring worship services each week, and to nurture as much connection as possible during this time of social distancing.
During December’s Holiday season, they are working extra hard to bring a “taste of the holidays, First Parish style.”
I meet three times a week with this stellar Worship Team, and I want to publicly thank them for all the ideas, talent, enthusiasm, and hard work they bring to support our Sunday worship week after week, month after month:
- Dennis Duquette
- Pam Landry
- Debra Zagaesky
- Olga Rogach
- Linda Clark
- Anne Lenault
- Chris Woodcock
- Rich Morreale
Many thanks as well to all who have helped with our worship through planning services, doing readings during Zoom services, sent recorded musical numbers, photos, video clips, ideas, readings, poems, or stories, decorating the sanctuary for the holidays, and providing feedback to help us make worship a more heartfelt and inclusive experience. All of these things help make worship at First Parish truly a “work of the people,” as it should be.
Connecting with the Beauty of Life Takes Practice
October 27, 2020
All through October, we have been talking about cultivating contemplative practices that allow us to pause and allow ourselves to be beguiled by the beauty around us, as a way to connect with ourselves and our work in the world in a deeper, more authentic way. I am taking this lesson to heart, working to institute habits that allow me to repeat this experience, over and over – to “practice” opening my heart to be touched by this great wonder that is Life.
I consider the taking of sabbatical to be one of the disciplines of being a minister. Sabbatical is a time of paid personal leave with the intention of encouraging growth and development in the arts of ministry through education and spiritual renewal. This is a benefit to both the congregation and the minister, and works wonders in helping to avoid ministerial burnout and high ministerial turnover rates.
My sabbatical is scheduled to begin a three month sabbatical beginning January 1, 2021. I have been working with the Sabbatical Committee, appointed by the Board, for the past year to put the pieces into place to facilitate the smooth functioning of the church while I am gone. They will be sending out an email in the next few days, with more details about how this will work.
You will continue to have great worship, and if needed, pastoral care. Stay tuned to meet our Sabbatical Minister at a Sunday service in November!
I am grateful to have the opportunity to take a sabbatical next year. I will take the time to dive deep during those three months. I will explore ways to connect with my call to ministry with more clarity and joy. I hope to learn more about the daily and weekly practices that work for me, that help me show up as my best self for my family and friends, our congregation, and the world. And I will be excited to share the journey with you when I return.
Message from the Minister
April 7, 2020
My friends, this is hard. Vacations, graduations, trips to the beach, Jazz concerts, Open Mic, proms, so many things that we have looked forward to have been postponed or cancelled. People we know have family members who are ill – some with Coronavirus, some with other conditions – and many cannot even visit them. Some have lost jobs, or must face daily exposure to dangerous conditions without adequate protective gear in order to continue to pay rent and buy food. Some choose to walk into danger because sick people, elders, and others may depend upon their help for their very lives. Anxiety is high, we worry and wonder how careful we need to be. It is ALL HARD.
Here is my message today: it is our moral duty to face this head on and do the hard thing. And continue to do it, as long as we have to.
This morning I looked up the local coronavirus statistics for Middlesex County, where I live. Confirmed cases in the county as of today are 2,950, up 328 from just yesterday. 42 have died; yesterday that number was just 5. We are 5 days away from our medical system being seriously overwhelmed.
The most important thing we can do for the next 2-3 weeks is to stay as safe as we possibly can. Staying safe under these conditions is an act of moral courage, and benefits everyone.
Please, please, as much as you possibly can, only go out among other people if it is truly a matter of life and death. It’s time to voluntarily live under as close to lockdown conditions as we possibly can, until the worst of this wave passes over us; and even then, proceed with extreme caution until an effective vaccine and/or treatment can be found and made widely available.
Meanwhile, we’ll keep on caring, keep on sharing, keep on helping where we can, as safely as we can.
Spiritual But Not Religious
August 23, 2019
In a survey taken by the Pugh Research Center some years ago, a significant number of people self-identified as “Spiritual but not religious.” By this they meant they felt they had some spirituality in their lives, perhaps even spiritual practice, but they did not identify with any one religious body or set of beliefs.
Of course, the typical UU response to this is, “They are UUs at heart!” One of our seven UU principles is “Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.” We will happily assert that you can be a UU Buddhist or Christian or Jew or Muslim or Religious Naturalist or Pagan or Humanist or Atheist, or maybe several of the above at the same time.
However you may define “spiritual growth,” it is important to living a positive, resilient life. We don’t have control over everything that is bringing stress into our lives, but we can develop the capacity for staying grounded, and bouncing back after grief, pain and worry – resilience.
Spirituality is a necessary component of resilience. That is Brenee Brown’s conclusion, after years of research and analyzing thousands of interviews. She says, “Feelings of hopelessness, fear, blame, pain, discomfort, vulnerability, and disconnection sabotage resilience. The only experience that seems broad and fierce enough to combat a list like that is the belief that we’re all in this together and that something greater than us has the capacity to bring love and compassion into our lives.”
And this was true no matter the person’s interpretation of spirituality. “We all have to define spirituality in a way that inspires us,” Brown says. “Practicing spirituality is what brings healing and creates resilience.”
How do you define spirituality in your own life? What practices help you retain a sense of connectedness to yourself, to other people, and to the vast interconnected web of existence which is our home? What helps you reconnect with love and compassion in your life?
Minister Message
June 14, 2019
Here we are, on the cusp of summer, ready to celebrate the sun’s power to renew and energize. From the Soular Jazz fest on Saturday, highlighting solar power and other earth-friendly technology and practices, to the Flower Communion on Sunday where we celebrate community with a ritual incorporating the riot of blooms this rainy spring has gifted us, to the Women’s Retreat and summer solstice ritual, the church year is finishing with a flurry of sun-centered events.
After that, we begin our summer worship schedule, a little earlier and in the more relaxed atmosphere of Parish Hall. These will be “lay led” services, which means members will be leading them. As Unitarian Universalists, we support each other as we each search for truth and meaning, and lay led services are a wonderful way to share what we are finding on that journey, and to explore further together. If you think you might like to lead one of the summer services, the worship ministry team can help. Contact Linda Clark at lindaandpete@comcast.net
I will be taking three weeks of vacation starting July 1, and after that I will be around, mostly studying and participating in planning for the next church year. If you have a pastoral care need, please contact the pastoral care team; there will be a minister available should you need one while I am away, and they know how to reach me as well in an emergency.
May you have peace, may you have joy, may your life abound with love and grace.
Minister Message
March 22, 2019
- You don’t know me, but would like to.
- You are upset with me, or would like to express appreciation.
- You have religious or spiritual questions.
- You are seeking to deepen your spiritual practices.
- You have problems with your job, children, marriage, parents, school, or anything else where a sympathetic ear might help you sort through the issues.
- You are going to the hospital, having surgery, find out you have a serious illness or condition, or know of someone else in the congregation who has any of these experiences.
- Someone close to you has died or is critically ill or you’re dealing with a significant loss or transition of some kind.
- You are planning to be married, separated, or divorced.
- You would like your child dedicated in a special blessing ceremony.
- You are struggling with your identity or sexuality and need support.
- You feel ready to join the congregation, or have questions about membership.
- You want to explore new ways to engage in congregational life.
Cell
Minister Message
January, 2019
Minister Message
November 9, 2018
May the stories that come into our memory today be these kind of stories, that help give us courage, and hope, and imagination for an even better future than we have yet dared to imagine.
Minister Message
September 14, 2018
Minister Message
June 29, 2018
Minister Message
March 30, 2018